I hate the comparison trap.
We’ve all been there. There’s always that one guy or girl that is that much better than you at what you do, or dresses better, is in better shape, or has more friends. You wonder how they do it, and why you can’t do the same.
I’ve managed to learn to deal with this trap for the most part. I am truly blessed in my life and I don’t take what I have for granted. But the one place I can’t get over comparing myself to others is the gym.
With CrossFit, our scores and times are written on a white board, so everyone can see everyone else’s time. Which is good generally – it creates a healthy sense of competition, even with just yourself, and helps you to push yourself a little bit harder. So on a regular basis, I don’t think twice about my name and scores being written for the rest of the gym to see. Unless I have a bad workout, of course.
I mean I know we can’t be “on” every day, and it’s not like the gym is the be all and end all of existence, but I don’t like “sucking”. I don’t like being last, or slowest, or with the least weight or reps. I’m fine being in the middle of the pack, where I normally am, and when I know I haven’t done my best it bothers me.
I had a shitty workout Monday. I felt like I was going to pass out the entire time so I had to go slower, and stop, and take rests, and ended up with a slow time compared to everyone else.
Ah there it is – compared to everyone else.
I need to remember that my journey is my own, whether in life or in the gym, and comparing myself to others in this way is only to drag me down instead of propel me onwards and upwards.
It’s a hard lesson to learn. But I’m trying.